Live from Japan!

If you would have asked me a few months ago about my feelings toward Chicago. I would have probably said that I have only one feeling about Chicago, and that feeling was that I was so ready to leave.

Aaron and I moved into this fine city in the summer of 2003. For the first year or two the city was quite novel. We enjoyed exploring our new town. However, once that novelty wore off, I never fell into a good groove that I liked around here. It’s too busy. Too crazy. Not enough outdoor space. Not down-to-earth enough.

It wasn’t long after those first two years that I really wanted to leave. I began looking at other cities and towns. Checking out homes and real estate in other locales. Aaron began exploring work options outside of Chicago. Then we decided that we should go to Japan. Once we started applying to go to Japan I was relieved. Finally, my exit.

Now, I feel like my feelings toward this city are starting to change again. Ever since we found out that we were leaving Chicago, we really started making an effort again. We started doing all the things that drew us into this city in the first place. We allowed ourselves to be enamored with it again, in all its bright lights and busyness.

Last night, for example, we hit some of the spots with friends that we probably should have hit sometime earlier in the four years we have been here. We had a blast downtown traveling from bar to bar with some of our Chicago friends. One stop we made was at the bar on the top of the hancock building. The views were stunning! It was late and we were able to see the lights of the city. Glowing!

We also stopped at Blackie’s. This old tyme Chicago restaurant/bar that makes a fantastic hamburger. It was great to discover a Chicago establishment that we’ve not visited in our four years here. It just goes to show that a city, as large as this one, is always filled with surprises. I’m going to miss those surprises.

I think I really noticed my feelings about this city changing last weekend when I was talking on the phone with my friend Elissa. She was asking me about what I would be doing once we got back from Japan. She commented on what I have always joked (somewhat seriously) about in the past, move to Minnesota and start making babies! 🙂 But it was strange, when she mentioned it, I felt my heart sort of ache. That idea and plan didn’t sound quite as interesting or appealing as it once did. I’m starting to feel like my heart is back in Chicago. That maybe I want to come back to this place.

I’m pretty sure it is just the nostalgia talking. The fear and sadness about changing and leaving. Leaving the comfort and familiarity of all that I’ve known for the past four years only to have to establish it again elsewhere. I’m sure that my feelings may continue to change, but for now, I can’t say that I wouldn’t want to come back.

For right now, I have to trust that I will know what the right choice is when it is time for that decision to be made. I have to be thankful for the time that I have had in Chicago knowing that if we come back, or don’t, the city will always have a special place in our hearts. After all, it’s been home to us for four long years.

So with that, Thanks Chicago for being good to us during these four years. You have welcomed us in, and you are starting to win me over once again.